The little girl woke up with very red cheeks so of course I went online to determine possible causes. She seemed normal, just very red cheeks, but called Ed to see if he happened to have an appointment. With Dad in the hospital I wanted to know exactly what it was so I knew what she exposed him to. (As an aside, I cringe at the thought of hospitals and all the germs circulating there. We were extra cautious there, making sure everyone used the handy hand-sanitizer bottles when we arrived and when we left. Still, it's unnerving.)
Thankfully Ed had one early appointment and we took soon after I called. After a bit of a wait Ed showed up and determined it was Fifth Disease. Nothing you can do for it except treat any accompanying fever (very slight) and stay away from hospitals for 10 days.
Great. Poor Dad is in the hospital (who knows how long at this point), his only joy is to see his grand kids and now we can't go???
So I broke the news and of course he was understanding, but it was pretty brutal on top of all this.
So we kept in contact via phone, a few calls a day, asking what procedures he had, what he's been eating, what the docs said. Somewhere I have notes to compile. And concerned for the financial aspect I also asked if they knew when he'd get discharged. Of course we want him to get the care he needs, and as much as he needs it, but it is scary thinking about the accumulation of the bills.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Independence Day
Today, Monday, they took Dad for an xray then did 1st of 5 radiation treatments to reduce the mass on the spine; this was to ensure his spinal cord isn't adversely affected. We decided to visit Dad later in the day, after dinner, to hang out and wait for fireworks. Best kept secret in the city!
Michael and the kids went early to the family lounge for the best seats and best view, Dad did not feel like leaving his chair, so I stayed and watched fireworks on tv while he picked at his dinner.
Michael and the kids went early to the family lounge for the best seats and best view, Dad did not feel like leaving his chair, so I stayed and watched fireworks on tv while he picked at his dinner.
Sunday, July 3rd, 2011
After messing around with the garage clean-up in the morning (again, I wasn't much help), we thought about heading to see Dad after lunch. I had spoken to him and he said he got 2 blood transfusions already, for anemia, and he was going to get an MRI soon.
We got to the hospital, the whole family, around 2:30 pm and he wasn't in his room. Nurse said he went for an MRI, he's been gone a long time and could be gone a bit longer.
What do you do with kids while you wait in a hospital? First we took them to the balcony to take in the amazing view, it was incredible. That was short lived so I thought about finding food, always a good distraction.
The first cafe was closed so we headed to the 24 hour cafe (should've listended to the guy who said "floor 3" while I insisted we head a different direction). I got a chicken meal, Michael and the kids...I don't remember what the kids got! I think the three of them just got drinks?
We headed back up to his room and waited another hour or so. During that period Dr. Hunter visited and gave us the rundown. The "working diagnosis" is multiple myeloma, they needed to do a biopsy (on Tuesday since it was a holiday weekend). Dad had high calcium in his blood. Because I did a little research already I knew there are 3 stages, and we wouldn't know how far along he was until biopsy, so I remained positive. I texted my brother about the situation. Finally Dad returned at about 5 pm.
We were glad to see him, he was glad to see us. He looked tired but he was positive. I think he was also enjoying being waited on and the room service!
We visited for a little bit, and left around 6 pm. We were exhausted from waiting so we opted not to attend either of the 2 parties going on.
In hindsight, I should've come up with a system to be informed about his day - he could've called before he left and upon his return, for example. First lesson about hospital visits.
We got to the hospital, the whole family, around 2:30 pm and he wasn't in his room. Nurse said he went for an MRI, he's been gone a long time and could be gone a bit longer.
What do you do with kids while you wait in a hospital? First we took them to the balcony to take in the amazing view, it was incredible. That was short lived so I thought about finding food, always a good distraction.
The first cafe was closed so we headed to the 24 hour cafe (should've listended to the guy who said "floor 3" while I insisted we head a different direction). I got a chicken meal, Michael and the kids...I don't remember what the kids got! I think the three of them just got drinks?
We headed back up to his room and waited another hour or so. During that period Dr. Hunter visited and gave us the rundown. The "working diagnosis" is multiple myeloma, they needed to do a biopsy (on Tuesday since it was a holiday weekend). Dad had high calcium in his blood. Because I did a little research already I knew there are 3 stages, and we wouldn't know how far along he was until biopsy, so I remained positive. I texted my brother about the situation. Finally Dad returned at about 5 pm.
We were glad to see him, he was glad to see us. He looked tired but he was positive. I think he was also enjoying being waited on and the room service!
We visited for a little bit, and left around 6 pm. We were exhausted from waiting so we opted not to attend either of the 2 parties going on.
In hindsight, I should've come up with a system to be informed about his day - he could've called before he left and upon his return, for example. First lesson about hospital visits.
ER
The kids were awesome, especially the little one, about my taking Dad to the ER solo. I explained that it could be hours before we got out of there, she'd get bored, nothing to do, etc.
Dad and I arrived around 6:15 pm, there were a few people milling around. We made sure to bring his xray since it was so recent. We got called into the inner sanctum about 6:30 and thought we'd see someone soon. As time passed we saw a nurse or two, an xray tech who wanted to take Dad for an xray ("but we already have one!"). As time is ticking away, I'm wondering how much this is all going to cost. Even with insurance things add up quickly and Dad is on a fixed income with not much savings.
Finally, at 9 pm or so we saw some action. Various doctors came in and out, asked Dad how he hurt himself ("I didn't, my back just started hurting"), what his parents died of ("complications of an aortic aneurysm at 65 and colon cancer at 85), if he used recreational drugs (he's 100% clean). The attending saw the xray and wanted an CT scan. Those results came in and someone ordered a brace.
I found it interesting that he did not let anyone know that he was a doctor. It was strange to be hearing him called "Mr. de la Cruz" the whole time. And no one seemed to comment that he knew a thing or two about medical stuff.
Then there was some blood drawn and talk of admitting Dad to the hospital for more testing.
What?
Someone mentioned there was some "process" going on that they needed to explore further. Ultimately it was discussed that they suspected myeloma.
I kept in continual text message contact with Michael and thankfully the kids had done well that night. I got into the car at 11:38 pm and drove home feeling guilty that I did not make him go to the ER sooner and for the state he's been in the past few weeks, feeling bad for asking him to move out ("if he still lived with us we would've noticed his deteriorating health sooner?") and feeling terrible for not checking in on him more often.
I Googled myeloma and cried myself to sleep.
Dad and I arrived around 6:15 pm, there were a few people milling around. We made sure to bring his xray since it was so recent. We got called into the inner sanctum about 6:30 and thought we'd see someone soon. As time passed we saw a nurse or two, an xray tech who wanted to take Dad for an xray ("but we already have one!"). As time is ticking away, I'm wondering how much this is all going to cost. Even with insurance things add up quickly and Dad is on a fixed income with not much savings.
Finally, at 9 pm or so we saw some action. Various doctors came in and out, asked Dad how he hurt himself ("I didn't, my back just started hurting"), what his parents died of ("complications of an aortic aneurysm at 65 and colon cancer at 85), if he used recreational drugs (he's 100% clean). The attending saw the xray and wanted an CT scan. Those results came in and someone ordered a brace.
I found it interesting that he did not let anyone know that he was a doctor. It was strange to be hearing him called "Mr. de la Cruz" the whole time. And no one seemed to comment that he knew a thing or two about medical stuff.
Then there was some blood drawn and talk of admitting Dad to the hospital for more testing.
What?
Someone mentioned there was some "process" going on that they needed to explore further. Ultimately it was discussed that they suspected myeloma.
I kept in continual text message contact with Michael and thankfully the kids had done well that night. I got into the car at 11:38 pm and drove home feeling guilty that I did not make him go to the ER sooner and for the state he's been in the past few weeks, feeling bad for asking him to move out ("if he still lived with us we would've noticed his deteriorating health sooner?") and feeling terrible for not checking in on him more often.
I Googled myeloma and cried myself to sleep.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
15 more years
I thought we had at least 15 more years with my Dad. He turns 70 in a week, his Mother lived until she was 85. Dad was in pretty good health, living on his own (I had asked him to move out about 2 years ago, more later), driving around town to art classes, the Senior Center and Red Lobster (or Olive Garden). I envisioned him getting older and less mobile very gradually, perhaps getting Alzheimer's. I was not planning on his recent diagnosis of Stage 3 Multiple Myeloma (cancer of the plasma in the bone marrow). He has about 2 years, depending on how he responds to chemotherapy.
He started complaining about his back just over a month ago, saying it hurt and he had some muscle spasms. 3 weeks ago he asked for help, wanted me to pick up a few things like a back brace. I went over and was shocked to find a sickly, ashen, disheveled old man who could barely move and looked like he lost a bit of weight (my Dad has always been thin, so for him losing weight is a BIG deal). I asked right away if he wanted to go to the ER and he said no, just put the brace on and he'll be OK. We reviewed his eating habits and he said he didn't have much of an appetite lately. I told him his body still needs food even though he's not hungry. I stayed until he ate and drank and was more comfortable and told him I'd check in on him the next day - I continued visiting him once or twice a day. I also suggested he see our chiropractor...that's what we do when our back hurts. At some point he agreed and we saw C. He could not drive so the kids and I took him.
C. saw him on a Friday and told him to move around every day, then wanted to see him Monday. After that appointment C. asked he get an xray of his spine before she continued to work on him. Her recommendation was still to move, keep active. It wasn't until the end of that week that we found out he had a fractured vertebrae. She wanted to see him again, so after he missed the 3rd appointment due to pain he finally made it. C. told him there was a change of plans and that he should see an MD for a bone scan and some blood work. At that point I had already gotten him a walker and elevated toilet seat to assist in his daily life. He did not want to come to our house and stay so we could help him out.
We made an appointment with an MD for July 5th, the soonest I could drive him there based on the kids' schedules.
Saturday, July 2nd, was the beginning of our big garage clean out. So as my husband started pulling stuff out of the garage I went and got donuts and visited Dad. He mentioned he now wanted a tub chair so he could shower. I thought I better get it that day since most those places would be closed Sunday and Monday for July 4th. After dropping of donuts at home and calling 3 stores, off I went for a tub chair.
Upon making the purchase I stopped at home for a bit before heading over to Dad's. I ate some lunch, and was not much help with the garage cleaning. I did not want Dad to shower alone so I planned to stay and clean his apartment while he showered. When I got there he was washing his hands in the bathroom and I noticed how he really couldn't stand on his own, he had to brace himself with one arm then the other, and every movement looked pained. So I asked if he wanted to go the the ER today. After his shower, he finally decided it would be a good idea.
He started complaining about his back just over a month ago, saying it hurt and he had some muscle spasms. 3 weeks ago he asked for help, wanted me to pick up a few things like a back brace. I went over and was shocked to find a sickly, ashen, disheveled old man who could barely move and looked like he lost a bit of weight (my Dad has always been thin, so for him losing weight is a BIG deal). I asked right away if he wanted to go to the ER and he said no, just put the brace on and he'll be OK. We reviewed his eating habits and he said he didn't have much of an appetite lately. I told him his body still needs food even though he's not hungry. I stayed until he ate and drank and was more comfortable and told him I'd check in on him the next day - I continued visiting him once or twice a day. I also suggested he see our chiropractor...that's what we do when our back hurts. At some point he agreed and we saw C. He could not drive so the kids and I took him.
C. saw him on a Friday and told him to move around every day, then wanted to see him Monday. After that appointment C. asked he get an xray of his spine before she continued to work on him. Her recommendation was still to move, keep active. It wasn't until the end of that week that we found out he had a fractured vertebrae. She wanted to see him again, so after he missed the 3rd appointment due to pain he finally made it. C. told him there was a change of plans and that he should see an MD for a bone scan and some blood work. At that point I had already gotten him a walker and elevated toilet seat to assist in his daily life. He did not want to come to our house and stay so we could help him out.
We made an appointment with an MD for July 5th, the soonest I could drive him there based on the kids' schedules.
Saturday, July 2nd, was the beginning of our big garage clean out. So as my husband started pulling stuff out of the garage I went and got donuts and visited Dad. He mentioned he now wanted a tub chair so he could shower. I thought I better get it that day since most those places would be closed Sunday and Monday for July 4th. After dropping of donuts at home and calling 3 stores, off I went for a tub chair.
Upon making the purchase I stopped at home for a bit before heading over to Dad's. I ate some lunch, and was not much help with the garage cleaning. I did not want Dad to shower alone so I planned to stay and clean his apartment while he showered. When I got there he was washing his hands in the bathroom and I noticed how he really couldn't stand on his own, he had to brace himself with one arm then the other, and every movement looked pained. So I asked if he wanted to go the the ER today. After his shower, he finally decided it would be a good idea.
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