15 more years

I thought we had at least 15 more years with my Dad. He turns 70 in a week, his Mother lived until she was 85. Dad was in pretty good health, living on his own (I had asked him to move out about 2 years ago, more later), driving around town to art classes, the Senior Center and Red Lobster (or Olive Garden). I envisioned him getting older and less mobile very gradually, perhaps getting Alzheimer's. I was not planning on his recent diagnosis of Stage 3 Multiple Myeloma (cancer of the plasma in the bone marrow). He has about 2 years, depending on how he responds to chemotherapy.

He started complaining about his back just over a month ago, saying it hurt and he had some muscle spasms. 3 weeks ago he asked for help, wanted me to pick up a few things like a back brace. I went over and was shocked to find a sickly, ashen, disheveled old man who could barely move and looked like he lost a bit of weight (my Dad has always been thin, so for him losing weight is a BIG deal). I asked right away if he wanted to go to the ER and he said no, just put the brace on and he'll be OK. We reviewed his eating habits and he said he didn't have much of an appetite lately. I told him his body still needs food even though he's not hungry. I stayed until he ate and drank and was more comfortable and told him I'd check in on him the next day - I continued visiting him once or twice a day. I also suggested he see our chiropractor...that's what we do when our back hurts. At some point he agreed and we saw C. He could not drive so the kids and I took him.

C. saw him on a Friday and told him to move around every day, then wanted to see him Monday. After that appointment C. asked he get an xray of his spine before she continued to work on him. Her recommendation was still to move, keep active. It wasn't until the end of that week that we found out he had a fractured vertebrae. She wanted to see him again, so after he missed the 3rd appointment due to pain he finally made it. C. told him there was a change of plans and that he should see an MD for a bone scan and some blood work. At that point I had already gotten him a walker and elevated toilet seat to assist in his daily life. He did not want to come to our house and stay so we could help him out.

We made an appointment with an MD for July 5th, the soonest I could drive him there based on the kids' schedules.

Saturday, July 2nd, was the beginning of our big garage clean out. So as my husband started pulling stuff out of the garage I went and got donuts and visited Dad. He mentioned he now wanted a tub chair so he could shower. I thought I better get it that day since most those places would be closed Sunday and Monday for July 4th. After dropping of donuts at home and calling 3 stores, off I went for a tub chair.

Upon making the purchase I stopped at home for a bit before heading over to Dad's. I ate some lunch, and was not much help with the garage cleaning. I did not want Dad to shower alone so I planned to stay and clean his apartment while he showered. When I got there he was washing his hands in the bathroom and I noticed how he really couldn't stand on his own, he had to brace himself with one arm then the other, and every movement looked pained. So I asked if he wanted to go the the ER today. After his shower, he finally decided it would be a good idea.